


A New Beginning, as told by Quentin Coldwater

by ConeyIslandBlitz



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, POV First Person, POV Quentin Coldwater, Post-Canon Fix-It, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 12:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18756733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConeyIslandBlitz/pseuds/ConeyIslandBlitz
Summary: - In which our lovable idiot supernerd assumes he's in the Afterlife until he's proven to be, um, very much alive.OR- In which we, the readers, take a trip through Quentin Coldwater's mind.





	A New Beginning, as told by Quentin Coldwater

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sirfoxheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirfoxheart/gifts).



> Rated Teen and Up for language. 100% improvised bc I usually work off a frame.
> 
> Dedicated to Ms @ohmarqueliot for literally telling me to "follow my inspiration" when I said to her that I had these little bits of dialogue in my head.
> 
> And ofc thank you to AlexxAplin for beta reading this and reminding me of that 🙈
> 
> Enjoy!

"Where will it take me?" I asked him, trying and failing to keep calm.

"It takes you where you need to go next," was all he said, followed by, "this is as far as I go, brother."

 _Brother._  
He never called me that while he was alive. Death, and working for the Library, has really changed him... perhaps for the better. When he was alive, he always was a raging dick. Even if he _did_ help me get out of my own mind prison. Even if he _did_ take a swipe from the Virgo blade for me. I did the only thing I could think of, and I hugged him. I told him, “thank you”.

Next, I had to take that leap of faith. I had to go through that door, and hope that it’ll take me home.

 

  
I found myself on a large clearing. It was a beautiful, bright and sunny day, and- wait... this is- I’m at Brakebills! I immediately recognised the building before me, that’s the Physical Kids Cottage! Oh man, what if they’re all there? Julia, Margo, Alice... Eliot... Oh, Eliot... just the thought of him is weighing heavy on my heart.

I love him so much it hurts. I hate that I died without a chance to talk to him again. I need to see him. I need to hold him and never let him go. I need him. I need Eliot.

I make my way, a lot more determined now, to the Cottage, and once I’m at the door- I feel like I should knock for some reason. I’m about to, but then I remembered - _I’m_ a Physical Kid. At Brakebills, this was my home, even if they never could determine my discipline while I was actually studying here. And of course, my discipline - minor mendings - ended up being the death of me. Literally. I feel like there's a cruel irony there that I might be missing.

 

Anyway so I open the door and step inside. It’s so empty here... I see Julia with Penny23 on the couch- they look like they’re doing research. I wonder what for? I was about to go over to them and ask, but it was Eliot I needed to see. And it’s Eliot I’m gonna look for. I head upstairs, trying not to disturb them. Once I’m up, it’s a miracle I remember which room is his, it's been so long. I gently knock on the door three times, and I wait a little bit. No answer. He’s either asleep or not in there. But the door is unlocked, so I just sneak on in. I’m in the afterlife anyway, so... or at least... I think I am.

I assume I am.

But... if this is the afterlife, what are Julia _AND_ Penny23 doing here? I figured I’d, I don’t know, be completely alone here. I close Eliot’s bedroom door as gently as I can, and I’m just... leaning against the door, watching him sleep. God I sound creepy. It would be even worse if I just climbed into bed next to him, but I really feel like I could lie down right now, so creepy vibe be damned. I make my way to the right hand side of his bed since he’s sleeping on the left hand side, I unlace my sneakers and I relax with my back against the headboard, taking in my surroundings. I’ll be honest though, if I had the choice of where I’d spend my afterlife, I can’t say I’d spend it here. My heart immediately calls for the Mosaic, in Fillory. With Eliot. I'm just looking at him, watching him sleep and my God... he always has been beautiful. I let my mind wander to all the memories I have of the two of us.

The day we first met, I recall being astounded by his beauty even then, and the way he shamelessly gave me the once over, I was mesmerised. There were the times he called to me for help first despite being the new kid in class, and he was always there to listen when I needed to get something off my chest and told me something personal about him in return, the time he proposed to seduce me if I got expelled... and that was just here. At Brakebills. In my first semester. I wonder what would have happened if Kady never blasted the front door open and sat in between us right after he poured me another glass of wine? Was he seducing me back then? Would I have gone for it back then? I imagine how it could have gone...

 ...

_Fuck._

I’m such an idiot.

Perhaps I should never have allowed Mayakovsky to push me and Alice together.

She’s lovely, and an amazing friend, but knowing what I know now, we work so much better as just that: friends. I think, even in the beginning, a part of me just... latched onto Eliot. A part of me immediately gave my heart to him without even knowing it. The Mosaic wasn’t what made me fall for him. Not even the threesome with Margo was what made me fall for him - even though I remembered more of that than I cared to admit, I think that ultimately served to be a catalyst - and... Wait- What if- when he broke through at that park- he said to me _‘who gets proof of concept like that?’_ and _‘peaches and plums motherfucker’_... What if he _did_ mean what my heart told me he meant? And that he wasn't just saying that to prove to me it was really him by saying something only he and I would know, like I was forcing myself to think? Could it be- Fuck... he was telling me he loves me.

**He Loves Me.**

**Eliot Waugh Loves Me.**

 

Fuck, I’ve made myself cry now.

Fuck, he’s waking up. He’s looking right at me.

"Q...? Is that you? Am I hallucinating?" he asked me, with his voice still low and heavy from sleep.

"If you were, how would asking me help?" I said back to him, fighting back tears, with a smile as a casual throwback to our first meeting.

I fail to resist the temptation to tuck his hair behind his ear. He leans almost desperately into the touch, taking my hand in his. Goddamn, my heart feels like it’s about to burst right through my chest.

"Q... you’re alive..." He locked his eyes with mine, and it feels like he’s staring straight into my soul, and I can’t find it in me to look away.

"I- I’m alive? I don’t-" Eliot cut me off by kissing me, and... _God, Eliot I’ve missed you so much I’ve missed your lips on mine I’ve missed your hands in my hair- no please don’t pull away-_

"Do you feel that, Q?" He put his hand on my heart and his forehead against mine, and it was only then that it occurred to me that it was actually beating, hard and fast. I’m alive... I’m really alive!

"I- Wow, Eliot, I- I never- I never thought I’d get another chance to- to see you again- I’m never letting you go, El. Never," I felt so breathless. I kissed him again, like his lips were a drug and I a willing addict. I felt him moan against my lips and my god... _fuck me, Eliot. Fuck me right now._

He pulled away again. Of course he was gonna have questions.

"But how, Q? How are you here? Last I heard, you were lost in the Seam," Eliot asked me, keeping his hand on the back of my neck just the way he knows I like, and I... I didn’t know how to answer that. I had to pull away so I could think where to start. Eliot’s always been distracting. It was hard for me to look back into his eyes at that moment, but I gave it my best shot.  
"I um- So I... I fixed the Seam and it- it- I guess it tore me to pieces or something, but- but I suddenly found myself in the Underworld. Penny- our Penny- greeted me, we did the Secrets thing, and he gave me my MetroCard. I asked him where it would take me and he said it _‘takes you where you need to go next’_ , so... it took me... here? I guess? Maybe- maybe- maybe the powers that be decided it wasn’t my time yet, I don’t know, but I came here, and- and I uh, I assumed that this was the afterlife because... why would I just be given a second chance to live, no strings attached? You know Eliot it’s- it’s actually kinda funny how I- I finally find out my discipline and it ends up killing me, I mean-"

I could feel laughter bubble in my heart and I was powerless to stop it. The more I tried to explain what happened, the more batshit I sounded and I just... I couldn’t believe it. I just let the laughter out like it demanded.

Once I felt it dissipate, and I felt myself calm down, I felt the need to say to him, "I’m sorry, I just- this seems so unreal, but I- I’m really here," one kiss, "with you," two kiss, "again," three kiss, "at long fucking last," four-five-six kiss. He wasn’t complaining. He just listened to me ramble on and allowed me to plant kiss after kiss on his lips. I rested my forehead against his and that’s when he spoke again.

"Q, my sweetheart, if only you knew how much I’ve missed you..."

"I’ve missed you too El, fuck, I love you so much-"

"I love you too- wait, rewind, you said you found out your discipline?"

Aah. He caught that. Good. He wrapped his arm around me and I leaned into his embrace.  
  
"Yeah... Minor mendings," I said, my right hand entwined with his left.

“And how exactly did that end up killing you?” he asked, and I heard a genuine curiosity in his voice. I looked up at him, feeling most at ease in his arms.

"I told you, I fixed the Seam. It’s in the Mirror Realm and everybody knows you can’t cast there, but I was an idiot and I did it anyway. I still had the Monster’s Sister in one of Margo’s demon bottles in my hand. Everett wanted me to hand it over, I wouldn’t, he threw a scroll at the Seam and for some odd reason it smashed like a mirror? So, I used my discipline to repair the Seam, threw the Sister bottle in, and the sparks that came from it tore both me and Everett to shreds. I should have tried to run and save myself, but... I didn’t. I’d lost all hope of seeing you again, El. I was... I was clearly in the darkest of places in my head. I was spiralling. Bad," I felt I had to take a deep breath right there, because only in hindsight do I ever realise how bad a depressive episode is. Eliot stayed silent, which is usually my cue to continue.

“I lost my dad and I missed his funeral, I was plagued by the Monster who was wearing the body of the man I’m so desperately in love with, who even tried to tell me that man was dead after helping me let out some grief by deliberately smashing my dead dad’s model airplanes, and then when we found out he wasn’t building his own body but his sister’s, that was... that was it.

“I’ve already seen you die like three times, Eliot. It would have broken me further to have to bury you again," ... wow. That got... that got deep.

I actually made myself cry again, looking back to how fucked up I’d been in the year prior to my death. It started out so casual... but Eliot knows me. He knows how I can get. He’s the only one I ever felt this comfortable getting so deep with, besides Julia.

I could hear him clear his throat because I think I made him cry too, and he just held me tighter.  
"Oh Q... sweetheart... I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that alone... This is all my fault, for shooting that Monster at Blackspire to stop you from becoming its new jailor, which... there’s no way you would have done if I’d said yes. I should have said yes. God, if this is what cowardice gets me, I’m never gonna be a coward again. I need you in my life, Quentin Coldwater. I can’t live without you. Just one month without you and I was ready to end it all," Eliot confessed to me, placing a kiss on my forehead, making me feel more protected and loved than I had in the year before I died.

We just held each other, allowing ourselves to become engulfed in our emotions, just crying it all out and yet supporting each other at the same time. I love him so much. And he loves me. I think between us we’ve made that pretty clear.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door.

"Come in," Eliot called.

Margo.

She froze on the spot, covering her fairy eye with her hand to make sure I was real. She too felt overwhelmed with emotion once she realised that yep, this really is me.

"You absolute asshole Coldwater, don’t ever do that to us again!" she cursed at me, at the same time being careful of Eliot’s abdominal wound and lunging forward to wrap her arms around me in a tight hug.

 

I'll talk to everyone else later.

Right now, what matters is that I’m back. Alive. With the love of my life and his platonic soulmate.

Right now, I could use some sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> And... Thoughts...? Drop a comment below and thanks for reading! <3


End file.
